A day in the life...

worst I've ever felt...part three...ach mein gott, I hope this'll finish it off

2007-10-17T20:57:06Z

Ok, so time for the third and hopefully final installment of this sheissbude of an entry...(sheissbude translates into shit gallery...I was reading an article on Octoberfest in German class the other day, and the teacher said there was a big difference between shiessbude [shooting gallery] and if the e and i were switched. Me, of course burst out laughing after I figured out what bude meant, and combined it with sheisse.) So, I finished off yesterdays entry with telling you all about how "Lorelei" had gotten "Fiona" in trouble while in the process of luring her out of her house in the dead of night to go off and have some crazy fuckfest (a term I invented...sad, I know.). Anyway, she had gotten grounded because she had been discovered, and had a hickey on her neck. I'm not even sure how she explained that one to her parents...I'll have to ask her. So, this happened on...Monday I think. I told you about Tuesday, so on to Wednesday. Actually, nothing of great importance happened on Wednesday, all I did was talk to Fiona's and my mutual friend, whom we shall call..."Tori". Currently Fiona is not talking to Tori, because she and I share a mutual hate of Lorelei, and Tori apparently crossed the line one day. The two of us have been scheming for a while now...we haven't acted on any plans. On Thursday, nothing really happened, except for during the evening. I started and finished a not to Fiona, it was 6 pages in length. In those 9 pages, I talked about my feelings over the past week, since that previous Saturday. I also briefly told her I loved her, made fun of her girlfriend, and was generally mean, sarcastic, and ill tempered. I was in a bad mood when I wrote the note, and I think that my mood really came through in my writing. Regretfully, I don;t remember much of the note, and no longer have it. Apparently, Fiona did NOT think it was as hilarious as Tori and I did. Of course, I spent half the time insulting her girlfriend...which probably wasn't nice to read. Anyway, Fiona is now very mad at me, and refuses to speak to me. Well, this is an entirely different level. Fiona has never been mad at me, and it certainly isn't something I am used to, or enjoy. I'm not sure how to handle it, either, and it is causing me all sorts of stress, and other unpleasant emotions. Now, I truly regret giving her that not, and am going to apologize to her during class tomorrow, since it is the only time I see her without Lorelei, whom I am not apologizing to. I still really hate this girl, I'm just not going to act on it any longer. I've also decided that I honestly no longer care about what Fiona does. She doesn't listen to anything I say to her anymore, she seems to think I am trying to drain all the fun out of her life. If she considers have sex with a girl she barley knows, then that's her problem. Sure, I don't like it, but there isn't anything I can do to try and convince her otherwise. If she is happy, then I guess I should try to be too...my next move will be to try and fix the damage I have caused between us, which will probably take a while, I feel like I really struck a nerve with all of this. *Sigh*, I suppose that's it. Finally I am done, it took 3 separate attempts, but I'm finished. I think I'll put it all into one entry as well, it'll be easier to read that way, instead of having to go to the third article and read down, then go up to the second, and repeat. I'll do that tomorrow, so I don't have 2 for today.

worst I've ever felt...part 2

2007-10-16T21:24:50Z

I apologize for the abrupt end yesterday, I was up past my bedtime, and my dad finally came home from the hospital and said I needed to go to bed. Anyway, I believe I ended with "we had a deep psychological chat that ended up with her admitting to dating some girl...and not only that, but to have had sex with this girl twice. One of those times was the Friday, during 3rd quarter. this mad me very angry...I haven't gotten angry for years...". And I really haven't. I try to stay calm and fair everyday, I find people are more likely to be friends with you if you aren't always jumping down their throats. So, this had been the first time I was angry in a long time...the emotion was unfamiliar to me...as if I was a newborn child, just learning about himself. But more than that, was that this new girl, whom I shall call "Lorelei" (like the Styx song, no idea why it popped into my head, just thought it would do well.) had broken the tradition between my best friend, whom I shall call "Fiona", which is a name I just have liked for a while, and myself. Above that, it was by doing something I didn't even approve of, and was against. Well needless to say, I was pretty angry, and already hated Fiona's new girlfriend. It also didn't help that I was rather jealous of the both of them. Lorelei because she was dating Fiona, and Fiona because she was dating...period. I have never had a girlfriend, and I'm not embarrassed to admit it. I'd rather just sit back and enjoy life, and let things run themselves, not obsess over getting some girl to love me. Eventually, I'd find the right one, and things could go from there. Well, I had really hoped it would be Fiona, I love her more than my own parents (not really, now that I think about it, I don't love anyone more than my family. However, I love Fiona more than anything below my family.). So, of course, I am going to be jealous of her, and dislike anyone she dates. That, I can't really help, it's a natural reaction. Anyway, on with the story. Saturday night, after I left Fiona's house, which was around 11:30, I couldn't sleep. And you might be thinking, "geez, what's wrong with this kid? it's not that bad..." and it's not, but that wasn't all she revealed to me. However, I am not going to write about those things, because it is personal between her and I. So, I was too preoccupied by my thoughts to sleep much, I think I got about an hour before my mom came to wake me up. Of course, this is on a weekend, so I was in bed until like 9:00. The next day, we were supposed to hang out, but she called and said she had to do some chores, and would be occupied all day. Personally, I think she was trying to avoid me, maybe she didn't want to see me so soon after the night before, or maybe I just imagined it. All of Sunday, I just sat around, mulling over everything in my head. I didn't do much else, and I managed to put on a cheerful face in front of my parents, so they didn't suspect anything. The next day was a Monday, but we didn't have any school, some holiday. Once again, I called Fiona and tried to arrange something, but she never called back. On Tuesday, I found out she was on phone restrictions, because she got into a fight with her mom about how she shouldn't be using her phone for social needs. This was a cell phone. Apparently she had called "someone", but I knew it had been Lorelei. Oh, and this wasn't the first time she had gotten Fiona into trouble either. The first time she had sneaked out to see her, and while she could come up with an excuse, she was grounded. The second time , Fiona snuck out and had sex with Lorelei for the first time, and came back with a hickey on her neck, well she couldn't explain that one. I now have to go again, band practice. I shall log on later to finish.

worst I've ever felt...

2007-10-16T02:46:49Z

Well, it has been exactly 5 weeks since my last post. I have been busy...and recently I've not been feeling well. It all started on the 5th of October... I think anyway. It was a Friday, and I had to do all sorts of marching band stuff. first, we had a pep rally, some form of gathering to raise school moral, or pep. Well, that wasn't so bad...I don't enjoy pep rallies, but I certainly don't hate them. Then, we had a fairly normal day, we had spirit trains later (where the band gets together and marches through the school playing peppy music. these take place on the days that we have home games on.). After school, however, is when things really started to go bad. Ok, it's not actually all that bad, but it was made bad later. We had a carnival for the first time in like 8 years before the game. It was our homecoming game, so it's a big deal. I was supposed to stay after school with my best friend (Whom I am deeply in love with. I no longer care about admitting this, I've even told her.) and then go to the carnival at 4:30. School ended at 3:30, so it would be like four hours than we could hang out together. I was really excited about this, of course. Not only because I love her, but we haven't been able to spend much time together this year. Well, as it turns out, even though we had plans, she had to go home to clean the house. This made me mad, but not very, it was really just severe disappointment. The next time I could see her would be 3rd quarter of the football game. Well, when that time came, she was no where to be found. It has been like a tradition of ours to hang out at this time, because I could sit with her the rest of the game, do to marching band. So, not being able to find her was odd. I called her, and she said she had gotten bored and went off on a walk with a friend. (A friend whom she had been spending a lot of time with, too.) She eventually came over, with about 30 seconds on the clock. When the clock hit zero, I had to be in the stands ready to play the fight song for our team. The disappointment built up even more. All I had time to do was give her a quick hug (It was actually longer than normal, she felt bad about abandoning me all day.). After that, I went and finished the game, and went home. The next day was our homecoming dance. I had a ticket for it, even though I don't dance and hate school dances. I only bought one because I thought my friend would be going. Turns out she wasn't, (she had surgery on her leg, so even though it was better, it was understandable for her to not plan on going.) and I would be hanging out by myself. I couldn't, however, go without her seeing me looking all spiffy in my formal clothes, so I went over to her house for a few quick pictures. I had only planned on going for a few minutes, but my father ended up in an in-depth conversation with her parents. I didn't mind, I got to hang out with my friend, my original plan all along. We sat and talked, me curled up next to her on the couch, an arm wrapped around hers, trying to get some warmth. for some reason, I was very cold, normally I am very warm. Anyway, we had a deep psychological chat that ended up with her admitting to dating some girl...and not only that, but to have had sex with this girl twice. One of those times was the Friday, during 3rd quarter. this mad me very angry...I haven't gotten angry for years... oh, and I have to go...sorry I'll have to finish later.

Schule

2007-09-04T20:50:41Z

It was my first day back at school today, as is so with many others around the country. I would tell it to you in German, but I don't know how to say first. *shrugs* Anyway, it wasn't exciting or anything, and surprisingly my favorite class was geometry (I hate math), in that 45 minutes (our first class is split into 45 minutes, but on both A and B days) we accomplished more than any of my other classes, which were an hour and 45 minutes. Lunch was more horrible than I remember...and that's about it. Unfortunately I still have to attend band camp from 6 to 8 tonight. The only other substantial knowledge I could offer is that my ears would stop ringing all of today (or now for that matter), as it has been since yesterday day afternoon. On that subject, would it be a cause for concern if I have no memory of the time between about 9 o'clock Saturday evening to yesterday afternoon? Strangest thing, it was like I was just in a daze the whole time, and then I suddenly became aware that I had just become aware of my surroundings, and couldn't remember what I had been doing all day, or night... oddest feeling I've ever had, and possibly the most interesting to think about. It got me through school today, at least. Anyway, that's about it.

Is it possible to be ocd about one's hair?

2007-08-29T17:14:11Z

Okay, so I have three points to get across today, and two are related. I'll start with my hair. I spent an hour in the shower today, just...playing with it. Rather odd, I know, but I found it entertaining. Afterwards, I couldn't seem to get it looking right, which rather a bother. Anyway, I'm getting it cut tomorrow...this does not please me. I hate haircuts more than anything, they leave me self-conscious, miserable, and distinctively off balance. Well, I suppose that's all for that topic. The other two concern precognition. First, I would like to say that yesterday I experienced what I would consider my first waking precognitive thought. It wasn't a flash, really, because it contained no visuals. All it was was a random entrance of the Welcome back Kotter theme into my thought process. About 8 seconds later, a commercial with the same theme came on. Well, that could have been a coincidence, however, while they were the same, they were also remixes of the original song. I have never heard any remix of that particular theme, let alone that, so there's my excuse. Thirdly, another precognitive event. last year a symbol just popped into my head, and I drew it. It was like a cross with a snake curled up the shaft and then looped around the cross section. Well, last night I saw the same symbol in the opening of a show after the one I was watching. I found that rather odd, although that may be a coincidence, who knows. Oh, and sorry for not posting anything or signing on to AIM, marching band has taken all my time and left me too tired to do such things.

klausbridvell @ 2007-08-23T15:17:00

2007-08-23T19:23:56Z

So, sorry I haven't updated in a while, band camp drains all my time, and speaking of which I'm leaving to go back in 10 minutes, so this'll be short. First I'd like to say that, yes, I changed the look of my journal, I was getting a bit bored of the other one. Also, I have decided that those stupid advertisements are a big pain, especially since they really stick out in such a colorless design. I'd like to say more, but in all honesty I can't, nothing has happed to me recently. Well, in any case, perhaps my next entry will be more exciting, I just had the urge to write something, and this is what came of it. (*snorts at emotion icon* I'm not that tired, certaintly...)

One time, at Band Camp...

2007-08-16T18:40:59Z

Ok, I'd like to start off by saying that the title of this entry is possibly the most annoying thing ever created. Everyone says it, and it never gets any better. So, back on topic: I started going to Marching Band camp last week, I think I already told everyone that in one of my entries, but just in case. To say the least it has been very hot everyday, but it was especially hot today (100 with a heat index of 110 [and yes, we were outside marching]). But speaking of marching, there is something that has gotten me really mad everyday at camp. When you learn to march the show, you have little sheets that tell you exactly where you are supposed to be at certain points in the show. Well at every time we were at a point, I was directly on my point, but was continually yelled at because none of the other Clarinets weren't in the right spot, so I was out of the line. I was, the one exactly where he was supposed to be, not them, the deviants. Explain the fairness of that! Getting yelled at for doing my job right! Anyway, we have about 2 weeks left of camp, and we aren't done with the first song, not to mention we have never even played the other two, let alone got down the drill. All in all, things aren't going as well as they should, but we are doing better than the directer thought we would, so ha! other than the rant about lines and me being right, I didn't have much else to say.

not much that is new...

2007-08-13T02:26:59Z

Ok, so it's been a while since my last update, and out of the three people that read this blog I told two that I would post today. Umm, nothing has really happened recently. I started band camp last week, and now have to wake up at 6:30 every day until next summer... Speaking of sleeping, some of you know that I had a period of six days where I did not sleep. I was too afraid of my own dreams, but this is now not a problem, and I am fine. Although, I now keep dreaming the same dream about DeKalb, Illinois, on Gurler road. I only told Sasha Nein about this so here goes for everyone else. Awhile ago I had a very vivid dream about going to Whispering Rock, the summer camp. Well I went on a various number of roads and when I looked my trip up, (I always try to find some meaning in the dreams that are more clear than the others) I found that the exact route existed in the real world. What a shock, right? the exact coordinates (according to google earth) are
:41.896301-88.744301 if you wish to look the spot up. Well, unfortunately Sasha assured me that that was not the location Whispering Rock. While it was exciting, I felt rather depressed to have such a lucid dream about a farm...(which is where I would have been had I driven there) Anyway, that's about all I feel like saying...Oh Milla is back, rejoice.

Sheisse! I have really put things off...

2007-07-22T23:02:03Z

Ach mein Gott, I guess the title says it all, I really need to post, so I'll start with the newest and go backwards:

Okay, so I got my copy of The Deathly Hallows yesterday, and also finished it yesterday. So, HA Sasha, you didn't spoil anything. (I read his post today...) I'm not going to post any spoilers, but I will say that it just didn't have that Harry Potter feeling to it. Maybe because they weren't at school most of the book....it was also much darker, while the earlier books had some amount of humor in them, this one did not... but all the same I enjoyed it, and if you want a good read, I suggest reading it.

Next in line is I went to a camp for a week, don't really feel like saying much about it

After that, or before I suppose, I went to band camp. not much to say here either, mostly because I don't remember much of it...

Anyway, on top of all of that, I have had a large increase in the amount of precognitive dreams I have in any given week, now I have about one a day, and am experiencing some major deja vu almost everywhere I go nowadays. at first I rather enjoyed it, for instance, I have many dreams about buildings, cities, or just random places that I end up in normally a few days after the dream. So, because I have such dreams, I know where many things are, and some of what may occur to me and or anyone else with me. However, as cool as that sounds, I'm getting tired of it...just for those of you who are curious, some of the dreams I have had include the subjects of this post. I had one about reading Harry potter, and remember about five pages of it in great detail. I had a dream about a really bad storm while at camp, along with other points of that particular week. Finally, at band camp, I had dreamed about the music I was going to play, which wasn't so bad, because I already knew it even though most have never even seen it, let alone played the pieces. (they were all brand new or not even published yet) Well, that doesn't sound so bad to you guys/girls, I'm sure, but it is rather bothersome because I rarely have many surprises anymore,and my days are starting to get a little boring. What's the fun of starting a new day, if you already know what will happen? anyway, that's about it. I was going to post some more but I'm not really in the mood to go into detail about my trips.

a quick update

2007-07-15T01:52:34Z

ok, so I haven't posted for a week now...sorry about that. Also, I was planning on at least two other longer entries, but I'm not really feeling up to it right now, and when I get back from camp in a week, I guess I'll have to write about three things...*sighs* anyway, this is the most amazing thing I have ever seen!

That is a picture of me...only...not a picture! it is an impression of pyrokinesis by my friend taco_girl that is so amazing, I had to blog about it. I just sent her a picture of me holding a piece of paper, and she e-mailed this back to me...amazing! go over to her blog and leave a comment if you like it

Jefferson national forest (oww!)

2007-07-01T19:21:55Z

Well...it's been three days and no one has commented yet, that makes me a little sad...oh well (I am refering to the previous post, by the way). Anyway, I said that I might post about my weekend camping, and since I don't have anything better to do, I guess I will. The drive was about two hours, and by the time we got there it was fairly dark, so I had to put up my tent in the dark (I hate setting things up in the dark....)and I couldn't get a good idea of what the site looked like. In the morning, everyone else woke up around 7:00 (I couldn't sleep that night...as in, I just didn't sleep at all...the night was a little boring 'cause there wasn't anything to do.) and we all made breakfast. That was over around 9:30, and we went to the outfitter's to get our kayaks and go to the river. It was a fun start and all, everyone particularly enjoyed the rapids along the way. (they were class one rapids...the river was that boring...) We did eventually get kinda bored, my group was too excited about the class two rapids about four miles ahead of where we were currently to get much enjoyment out of the part we were at. The class twos finally came, then went, too fast, and boredom resumed. we had lunch soon after on a beach to the side of the river, and swam around a little bit (did you know that a 1mph river current could be so strong you couldn't swim against it?). Five miles later, there was another class two bit, that wasn't all that exciting, there was just a one foot drop and a couple of ripples. The last couple of miles were just torture, no rapids at all, just open water. At this section I developed a small sunburn. This did not concern me at the time, but as we went further down the river, it turned rather nasty. It was very, very pink by the end, and it hurts...a lot. It's even stinging as I write this, and it is really aggravating me. The rest of the trip after the river wasn't very eventful, we just ate, slept, ate, and left. I got back half an hour ago, and I'm already writing again. That's all I'm going to write I guess... post to you later. (that just popped in my head, I couldn't say see you or talk to you later, so I invented something...)

who actually reads this thing?

2007-06-29T18:41:41Z

well, its been a couple of days since my last post...and I still don't actually have anything worth posting. My life is somewhat boring... I am going camping this weekend so if anything interesting happens there, I may post about that. (my last camping trip I ended up in the emergency room in some Maryland hospital with a big gash in my head and a possible concussion...comment if you wish to know more about it. {I live in Virginia, so being in a Maryland hospital was slightly bigger of a deal} ) But...thats about it.

******

Just out of curiosity, who actually reads my entries, or as least try"s to? If you are one of those nice people, please leave a comment so I can get a general idea of a number...If you aren't one of those people, this doesn't matter, because you wouldn't read it anyway....

another boredom update

2007-06-24T03:22:40Z

Advanced Global Personality Test Results

Extraversion	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	40%
Stability	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	66%
Orderliness	\|\|\|\|	16%
Accommodation	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	70%
Interdependence	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	50%
Intellectual	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	43%
Mystical	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	76%
Artistic	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	63%
Religious	\|\|	10%
Hedonism	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	56%
Materialism	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	56%
Narcissism	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	63%
Adventurousness	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	70%
Work ethic	\|\|\|\|	16%
Self absorbed	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	43%
Conflict seeking	\|\|\|\|\|\|	30%
Need to dominate	\|\|\|\|	16%

Romantic	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	70%
Avoidant	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	50%
Anti-authority	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	50%
Wealth	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	63%
Dependency	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	36%
Change averse	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	63%
Cautiousness	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	56%
Individuality	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	56%
Sexuality	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	63%
Peter pan complex	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	63%
Physical security	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	90%
Physical Fitness	\|\|\|\|\|\|	30%
Histrionic	\|\|\|\|\|\|	30%
Paranoia	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	76%
Vanity	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	50%
Hypersensitivity	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	56%
Indie	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	53%

Take Free Advanced Global Personality Test
personality tests by similarminds.com

just for the sake of an update

2007-06-23T00:55:24Z

Well, I realize that it has been a while since my last entry. School is over (thank god) and I have been getting past boredom by trying new things with my mind. I was told a while ago from a friend that our mutual friend (who shall remain unnamed) said that at this age, I should be bending spoons like putty. Well, I took this into consideration and tried bending a spoon. So, I was halfway there...I got the spoon all warm, rubbery, and much more pliable. However, that was as far as I could go, and had to do the actual bending with my hands... my userpic is a picture of the spoon taken by my camera phone, sorry the quality sucks...

Concerning my seemingly one-way telekinetic block

2007-06-13T18:50:59Z

Well, out of sheer boredom, I've decided to make an entry for those of you who actually take the time to glance at my journal, so here it is:

So, I'm sitting in my room around 12:00 and out of boredom, decide to test my telekinetic abilities again. I end up trying to spin my ceiling fan, and after about half an hour I do make it spin. Now, mind you, it was VERY slow, like one turn every 30 seconds slow. Well, I keep it up for about four minutes, hurray for me. And in the morning I, of course, wake up with a splitting headache (not a good scenario for the German exam that day). Anyway, here comes the main point of this whole thing. That evening, I was just talking to some friends and I started thinking about all of my experiences. Well, if you've been keeping up (which shouldn't bee hard, this is only my 3rd or 4th entry) you should know that so far, I have only been able to do two things. As I thought about both of them, I realized that in both I spun something. Well, so far this has worked, but I can't seem to do anything else like, push or pull things.And when I thought about that I realized that the only way I could spin things was by pulling them, so really, I can't push things. This is somewhat aggravating because if I can pull something, it shouldn't be any harder to push things. Well, for me it is. Maybe pushing will come with time. Oh, and I never posted this either, but I managed to do a bit of pyrokinesis as well. I tried for about half an hour, and finally I singed the edge of a card. I was so shocked however, that I broke focus and lost all the heat. You know, that's another thing. It really makes me mad to half to sit and focus for half an hour just to do something that is actually not all that significant. Maybe if I keep practicing, that amount of time will go down...

{Just a small note from me: when writing all this, I don't wish to seem like I'm bragging. my plan is to continue to practice until I can actually do something more significant before going around telling people. I only write down things like this to organize my thoughts.}

happy day...

2007-06-05T21:20:39Z

Well, I couldn't post anything yesterday, or comment for that matter. LJ has yet to send me this mystical e-mail to validate my account, so I can't do everything at this point...but soon I will be able to do what I created this account for. Anyway, I couldn't post yesterday, so I'd just like to cover a few good things that happened:

1.) Concerning my minute telekinetic abilities
          This actually happened the night of my first entry, but I was finally able to do some small level of telekinesis(I have been attempting such for about a week and a half now) in the form of spinning a piece of paper that I folded on a needle. I showed one of my friends who was helping to determine whether I was psychic or not and she was reasonably impressed... now I need to practice more and what not until I get better, and maybe try some other things as well.

2.)my first live journal friend
          Hurray! my first friend. it's actually a friend from school so it isn't as spectacular as someone I did not previously know, but at least now I do have ! friend.

There isn't really much to say about today...nothing really exciting... well, I guess that will be it for the day

Auf wiedersehen alle!   (Good bye all)

First day

2007-06-04T00:17:08Z

First day on live journal: no friends, no updates for the resounding number of zero people that will probably read this, no idea why I am doing this...